The Mum:
8 years ago hubby and myself made the decision to move from the Midlands to Derbyshire. Hubby was working in Derbyshire at the time and the daily commute was beginning to take it's toll. The Daughter was nearly 4 and would be starting school soon. If we were going to do it it had to be now before the daughter started making her own "roots". It was the best decision we made. We moved to a small village and the daughter went to the village nursery and then on to the primary school. She made lots of friends within the village and was able to grow in a small friendly community. A far cry from what my hubby and I grew up in and as parents you always endeavour to give your kids a better life. However, to our families we left behind in the Midlands it was the worst thing we could have done - we may as well have been living on the other side of the world as far as they were concerned. To take away their grandaughter, great grandaughter, niece etc was a terrible thing to do. We thought the family would visit often - it was after all only 40 minutes drive away... but no. We began by visiting them every month without fail to make sure they saw the daughter and were not missing out on her growing up. But it was becoming too much - life takes over for everyone including ourselves and visits began to lessen. We would call/text each other, send photos and visit when we could. Then we started going through the "if they can't be bothered to visit, why should we" phase which we soon realised was childish and not fair on the daughter. So now we visit when we can, the daughter stays over with family during holidays and photos, phone calls and texts continue. A good thing has come out of this however, our families and the daughter really appreciate each others visits. I know if we had stayed in the Midlands this would not have been the case, like everything else if it's on your doorstep you take it for granted, whether it's the sea, countryside or family. It's certainly taught the daughter the value of family.
I can't remember much about moving away, although I can't remember many things. I get little flashbacks occasionally when we reminisce and thinking about it now, I remember being sat in the back of the car choosing between three houses on laminated paper and the one I liked was the one we moved into. I can't remember visiting any family after we moved when I was really young, just the past 2 or 3 years. I often look at home videos that are installed on the computer but it doesn't bring much back. I love my family and I do miss them a lot and I really enjoy staying over and spending time with them on a visit even though they think I'm a bit too old for a cuddle. But for a while now, I've realised that if I did live over there, I wouldn't enjoy or appreciate my family as much as I do now. There are many parts of me that wish I could see them more but there are more parts of me that realise the reality of why we don't for example, petrol prices and being really tired in the night and the morning from so much rushing around. Family is a very special thing and I've enjoyed all the times that I've spent with them and I certainly recognise that I'm really, really lucky.
Pictures from: www.thumbs.dreamstime.com
e-citados.tumblr.com
The Mum:
3 things happened to my daughter when she turned 12 years old and they all happened in one quick succession after the other:-
1. First bra fitting
2. Hair removal for legs and underarms
3. Bleaching her upper lip
All of a sudden she was beginning to turn into a young woman. The bra fitting was when it hit me she was no longer my little girl, that and the shock of how much trainer bras can cost! Next she became self-conscious about the amount of hair she had on her legs and underarms. This took me back to my teenage years and the girls changing rooms after PE. Back in the days when you had to have a shower and the girls would compare the smoothness of their legs and who had the most grown up underwear. I didn't want her to be teased about the amount of body hair she had but I also didn't want her to start shaving or waxing - she was too young! However, a genius friend of mine suggested hair cream removal as a less harsher method - panic over. Just when normality was resuming she then came to me about the fine hair on her upper lip. Unfortunately like mother like daughter so I introduced her to bleaching.
Looking back I'm glad she was able to come to me for advice. My mum came from a generation where this sort of thing wasn't talked about and never bothered with. I had to find out these beauty tips from More! magazine and J17. Thank goodness for them otherwise I could have ended up like Howard Hughes (a hairy recluse for the younger generation).
Things went quiet for a while, then the other week my daughter came home from school to say her friends were discussing eyebrow waxing and how they all have it done. Oh boy! Now I was a very late comer to eyebrow shaping - early 20's in fact. So my dilemma now is should my daughter wax or wait?
The Teen:
It's great that me and The Mum have such a good relationship because I feel that if we didn't I wouldn't be able to talk to her about the things talked about above and below.
I was a bit eager in a way to grow up and I couldn't wait until I had to have my first bra and when the day came to trekking down to M&S for a bra fitting, I was excited. Then I got the bra and it was so uncomfortable! It was itchy during school days and I would have to keep making trips to the horrible girls toilets at school to pull it. The Mum kept telling me I would get used to it and eventually I did;thank goodness!
But when I started getting dark, hairy legs, that's when I became disappointed because I had forgotten that this would happen and it was a part of growing up and I knew that once I start, I would have to continue doing so for the rest of my life and on a frequent basis too. I talked to The Mum and she told me she didn't want me shaving yet. I talked to a friend about this and she said that she shaved and I adored her smooth, shiny legs but when she showed me her cuts from shaving, I wasn't so in love with her legs after all...
But when Mum came and told me about hair removal cream, I finally felt happy with my legs and my underarms. Since then, the cream has worked a treat and I don't have to worry about cuts on my legs and harsh hairs growing back.
Bleaching my upper lip came when I had enough of putting concealer around that area. They were getting dark and I was getting annoyed. I don't have a problem with this it's just that I'm sick of having to do this a lot.
But now, its my eyebrows I'm worried about. I hate them. They're bushy and thick and everyone at school has shaped ones so I told The Mum about how I was feeling about my eyebrows and how my friends started off with having them done professionally. But what I'm worried about is the pain of tweezing them and having to do them every single week and if I don't tweeze them, I can't afford to have them done professionally every week. Half of me wants them done and half of me doesn't and I'm stuck.
I was eager to grow up for a while and loved the thought about becoming a teenager and finally getting a bit of independence. But now, it's the opposite way round; I want to be a little girl again. I miss not having to worry about bra's, getting dark hairs on my legs and underarms, not having to bleach my upper lip and fussing about my eyebrows. But it's a part of growing up and eventually everyone has to deal with these type of scenarios.
But life goes on.
The Teen
x
pictures from: www.amazon.co.uk and www.telegraph.co.uk
The Mum:
So one of my new year resolutions is to read more books. This is easier said than done. When you are young you have lots of time to read; no housework, working and all that grown up stuff getting in the way - your time is your own and I certainly read a lot. One of the first books I can remember reading and enjoying was the Milly Molly Mandy stories. I loved the country setting and her little world with her grandparents and parents all living in the little white cottage with a thatched roof. At the beginning of the book was a hand drawn village map showing where her school was, where Billy Blunt her friend lived and even the shortcut she took to school (only used in dry weather)! It was a world I loved escaping to, getting away from the bullies at school and family conflicts at home. However, I found as I began to get older reading became less, shopping for clothes and shoes became more important and of course boys! Then before I knew it I was an adult having to earn money and pay bills. I was either too busy or too tired to read. However, I did not want my daughter to miss out on this fantastic world of imagination and creativity and I made sure she had lots of books to read and importantly that it was an enjoyable experience. Every night The Hubby and I would read to her complete with silly voices and I am pleased to say she is now passionate about reading.
I have started the year by reading "Shoot The Damn Dog, a memoir of depression" by Sally Brampton. Not your everyday light reading material I will admit, but there was a reason and I will tell you why in a later blog. It was heavy at times (obviously), but a very good insight to the subject matter and I learned a lot.
My next book is yet to be decided - I have always stayed clear of "chick lit" and tended to read biographies/murder mysteries (Agatha Christie is my favourite), but in the spirit of my resolution I'm going to give them a go. My sister-in-law has given me "This Charming Man" by Marian Keyes to start with. Is this a good choice? To help me along with this resolution, I would love your suggestions for books you feel deserve a try. You can tweet suggestions @TheMum_TheTeen but make sure to start your tweet with TM!
Thanks for reading my first blog,
The Mum
The Teen:
My earliest memory of being introduced to books was lying inside my bed, tucked up warmly and The Dad or The Mum by my side reading The Gruffalo to me. The Dad was great at doing the voices for The Gruffalo and he tended to do the Fox in a Birmingham accent which I found quite amusing! To this day, I still love The Gruffalo and I think it's a great book for children. It's given me many memories and hopefully when I am older and I have children, I will someday read The Gruffalo to them.
Whichever book I used to listen to at "Bed Time", I was always captivated by the imagination published in one small book, on one small page and now, it has inspired me to write stories of my own...even though they may not be terrific!
At the moment, I have started to read "The Classics" in particular, Charles Dickens. I recently asked my English teacher if there was a Charles Dickens book in the school library at our fortnightly reading session. He said to me that in his 25 years of teaching, he has never came across anybody in my year that has requested a Charles Dickens book. He waddled off and came back with a book nearly as thick as The Bible! It was "The Old Curiosity Shop". I agreed that I would attempt to tackle this and I borrowed it to read. However, I found it rather difficult to sink my teeth in to. So, I returned and suggested that I attempt to read "A Christmas Carol" which The Mum has an extra special copy of. So, I have been reading that lately. But when it comes to winding down, it can sometimes be a challenge to concentrate and take in the wording that Charles Dickens uses. I also have read Agatha Raisin mysteries by M.C Beaton. I find them a laugh! I have been through the Jacqueline Wilson and Cathy Cassidy books many times and sometimes, I fancy picking up a good love story. It's just finding a good one to read! Any suggestions would be very welcome so please tweet me at - @TheMum_TheTeen and start your tweet off with TT.
Thank you for reading,
The Teen x
pictures from www.antiqbook.com and www.clubs-kids.scholastic.co.uk
I can't remember much about moving away, although I can't remember many things. I get little flashbacks occasionally when we reminisce and thinking about it now, I remember being sat in the back of the car choosing between three houses on laminated paper and the one I liked was the one we moved into. I can't remember visiting any family after we moved when I was really young, just the past 2 or 3 years. I often look at home videos that are installed on the computer but it doesn't bring much back. I love my family and I do miss them a lot and I really enjoy staying over and spending time with them on a visit even though they think I'm a bit too old for a cuddle. But for a while now, I've realised that if I did live over there, I wouldn't enjoy or appreciate my family as much as I do now. There are many parts of me that wish I could see them more but there are more parts of me that realise the reality of why we don't for example, petrol prices and being really tired in the night and the morning from so much rushing around. Family is a very special thing and I've enjoyed all the times that I've spent with them and I certainly recognise that I'm really, really lucky.
